So...my last post about this new boy was almost 2 months ago. I wish I could sit here excitingly typing that I think I'm in love and blah blah blah. Well that's definitely not the case. It seems as though distance is my enemy. The one thing that kills every one of my relationships or should I say what-could-have-been-relationships. I didn't even get the chance to meet this guy. I wasn't too bummed about it though, I'm sadly used to it.
One thing that baffles me is why I can't get over "my biggest regret." He stole my heart 3 years ago and has yet to give it back. 3 years can change a person so much but apparantly not enough to change my mind. I know that he's that same kid I fell in love with.
I feel as though distance has built a wall around his heart. I feel as though he's given up. I simply can't. Yeah I'm sure there are other girls in his life and there's been other boys in mine, but he's the one that makes my heart ache. I long for him, for that kiss we shared that night in his car. When I looked into his eyes smiling to tell him I had to go, only to lean forward for one last kiss before I went to sleep. That kiss he probably doesn't remember because he had a little too much to drink. I want that side of him that he showed me that night. The guy who waited up for me til I got home and when I couldn't go to his place he came to mine in the early hours in the morning because even if it were for just five minutes, he had to see me.
Don't give up on us baby.
xoxo Claudia G.
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