Falling Doesn't Mean We Have to Stop Learning.

I'm the girl who learns from seeing mistakes happen around her. My friends' experiences, especially with guys, either teach me something or simply scare the heck out of me...I haven't figured out which one it is yet.

(But) Even smart girls fall into the traps these boys don't seize from placing. It happens to the best of us ladies. It's what we do when we realize we've fallen for the wrong one that counts.

Take Carrie Bradshaw for example, a journalist who wrote a love column for the New York Newspaper. She learned from her mistakes, would experience heart ache but took something from every relationship, fling or one night stand she had. THAT's the way to do it. IF WE ARE GOING TO FALL, WE AT LEAST HAVE TO MAKE IT WORTH THE TIME IT TOOK TO GET UP.

XOXO Claudia G.

He stole my heart 3 years ago...

So...my last post about this new boy was almost 2 months ago. I wish I could sit here excitingly typing that I think I'm in love and blah blah blah. Well that's definitely not the case. It seems as though distance is my enemy. The one thing that kills every one of my relationships or should I say what-could-have-been-relationships. I didn't even get the chance to meet this guy. I wasn't too bummed about it though, I'm sadly used to it.

One thing that baffles me is why I can't get over "my biggest regret." He stole my heart 3 years ago and has yet to give it back. 3 years can change a person so much but apparantly not enough to change my mind. I know that he's that same kid I fell in love with.

I feel as though distance has built a wall around his heart. I feel as though he's given up. I simply can't. Yeah I'm sure there are other girls in his life and there's been other boys in mine, but he's the one that makes my heart ache. I long for him, for that kiss we shared that night in his car. When I looked into his eyes smiling to tell him I had to go, only to lean forward for one last kiss before I went to sleep. That kiss he probably doesn't remember because he had a little too much to drink. I want that side of him that he showed me that night. The guy who waited up for me til I got home and when I couldn't go to his place he came to mine in the early hours in the morning because even if it were for just five minutes, he had to see me.

Don't give up on us baby.

xoxo Claudia G.

So There's This Boy....

Lets not get too excited here! If anything the excitement in me comes from the fact that it's a new boy :)

My major in college is made up of mostly girls. I'm not exaggerating! Having 3 boys in one class is probably too many! So I often wonder, where am I going to meet a new guy?! I'll give those details later. We havent officially met but he seems like a really good and smart guy and we've been texting and chatting (IM'ing) a lot...I tend to get ahead of myself in these cases so I need to take it easy and just let things flow.

I'll fill you in just a little for now. He likes art and photography. He attends a university near mine. He is from a city near mine. His name starts with the letter J & he is soo cute! You might be wondering....J?? Yeah, I have a thing with guys with J names, it's crazy :) I'll be sure to update you, but like I said this is the very very very beginning of our friendship. Who knows what lies ahead...

Love! -Claudia

*Note: The above picture is not mine. I googled it, it originates from the International Christian Fiction Writers Blog!

The brain may take advice, but not the heart, and love, having no geography, knows no boundaries ~ Truman Capote

"5 Things That Keep You From Settling Down."

I came across this article yesterday and thought it was perfect to share the link so that you all could read it too. I thoroughly enjoyed what Julie Case had to say :) but I'll keep my comments to myself....until the next post! Enjoy!

Love Always and Forever- Claudia

http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=11523&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=723940

The Forbidden Love

That's just life isn't it. Yesterday I happened to watch two movies, an older one and a very recent one. I am the biggest fan of romance movies, they are my favorite! I know that they all follow the same story line, THE FORBIDDEN LOVE...I'ts what makes the story interesting. The writer builds up the viewer to believe that all that girl/guy really needs to succeed in the pursuit of happiness is that other main character. All they need is love & once they have it, everything else falls into place. Forbidden because of choice, class, family background, life's obstacles etc. The viewers are pretty sure that 98% of the time there will be a happy ending, but we never get tired of watching it happen.

Why? Perhaps because it is exactly the ending we are longing for. Eventhough it's crazy to hope for our handsome knight in shining armor to gallop his way towards us with roses in his hands we long for simply that feeling. (no knight or horse needed)

My forbidden love is the one I let slip away 3 years ago. I knew the second I called him my friend that I was regretting every word spoken from my lips. In my case I think timing more than anything is forbidding me from being with him. I continously and strongly believe that we can't possibly go through an entire life time without trying "it" out. That would simply be a waste....a possible love story wasted. We have too much in common, too much desire for the other to let it pass us by. I just hope that one day soon he'll realize that I was mistaken, I was scared.

All my love- Claudia

A Little Girl and Her Kite...

It's a constant battle!!! What do we listen to??? They say follow your heart but when you do, your mind is trying not to laugh or say I told you so....It's like our minds are the child (grounded) holding on to that kite (our heart) as tight as we can.

Yet almost EVERYTIME it gets tangled in the smallest of trees...or the wind blows and it becomes uncontrollable...or a storm comes in tearing it apart slowly or instantly at times. The string is the connection, the camraderie between our minds and our hearts...the compromise because without it, there is no kite for the child to fly...without the child, the kite will remain unflown...The child controls the length of the string....or so we think since kites always seen to take a life of their own...& the unpredictable weather is our love life.

Every child hopes for those handful of kite flying memories that outdo the rest... & every child hopes that we can keep that kite flying at the perfect height in the perfect weather forever....

-LOVE! Claudia

My Mind Was Playing Tricks On Me...

Every girl probably goes through that best friend that they just wish they could fall in love with. The heart seems to have a mind of its own of which we can not control. If any girl thinks that she can make herself fall in love with someone, she is wrong. Sooner or later the heart will conquer and practically push you away from your current "love" to that of your true love :) I absolutely, wholeheartedly believe this. I of course sometimes wish I could control my feelings because I (like many girls my age) seem to continuously fall for the wrong guy.....aka the bad boy.

Today I had an epiphany that managed to lift a weight I've been carrying on my shoulders for a couple of weeks now. Now that one of my closest/sweetest guy friends (we have history together) moved here I've been soooo confused about where we stand in each others lives. He is that sweet best friend that you would love to be in love with but you simply aren't. I began trying to come up with reasons to support the theory that perhaps I am in love with him but I'm too scared too fall and be in a relationship. I kept asking myself, "Afraid of what Claudia if you've never been severely heart broken?" Referring back to my questioning about the power the mind can have, eventhough it isn't all mighty, it is very mighty. I felt so mad at myself for thinking too much, for not letting myself go (risking the loss of another good one) and for believing that maybe I'm afraid of commitment. Well I was wrong, it hit me today that the all mighty heart would conquer these fears, if I truly loved him I'd grab his face and kiss him when I have the opportunity, which is often. The power of attraction is an entire different post in and of itself (stay tuned).

So where I'm getting at here is that yes I love my best friend, but I'm not in love with him. I am one lucky girl for having him in my life, but I'm not the one he deserves and I too deserve someone else. In hindsight I can't believe how the mind can play such tricks! As always, the hearts' true emotions were revealed. I've loved a guy before, and fear never kept me from showing my love, that is simply inevitable.

They Say You Can't Get Over the Last One 'Til the Next one....

Um yeah, that couldn't be further from the truth! If anything your past relationships obstruct your otherwise positive vision on the man currently standing before you because of the hazyness brought forth from the negative experiences you can't seem to let go of from the past. Timing is everything, I've said it before and I'll say it again. Unfortunately, the way time is handled isn't completely in our power because our minds and hearts and GOD for that matter seem to continue to hint that we are powerless, our books are written. Our duty is to accept the fact that our role is not of that of the power holder but as the reader of our own book! Key thing to remember, every person will analyze the same book differently. So once we become aware of our "powerlessness" we can accept that yes, we WERE meant to meet this nice guy/girl after that mean, loser, jack a$$, [insert rude name here]. Eventhough it might be tougher to build trust at first, I believe that we'll learn to appreciate the good ones when they cross our paths BEFORE they slip away :)
Moral of my soap box ramble? EMBRACE EVERYTHING EVEN THE NEGATIVE AND MAKE IT POSITIVE.....BESIDES, TWO NEGATIVES ALWAYS EQUAL A POSITIVE ;)

LoveLoveLOve always, Claudia

The Strength of the Mind Vs that of the Hearts

Is it possible for the mind to beat the heart?
For the mind to control the hearts emotions that are otherwise known to be uncontrollable?
Can caution overcome love?

Love isn't technical.
Love is unexplainable.
Love is uncontrollable.
Love is All mighty.

-Claudia

The Run In With the Ex Girlfriend

Bumping into one of your boyfriends or ex boyfriends ex girlfriends can be so awkward! It hasn't happened that many times to me, but when it does I feel extreme relief when I realize that I am dressed to impress! It's so funny how in a split second, the atmosphere changes and I am sure that the first thing that probably comes to both our minds is that guy that made the connection between us in the first place. Today I went to the movies with one of my bestfriends and noticed one of the ex girlfriends with her group of friends. We definitely stared each other down for what seemed like longer than we actually did. This ex girlfriend actually happens to be the ex of the guy I mentioned in my earlier post about my biggest regret. Yep... In hindsight, I would actually be considered the "ex" (quotes due to the fact that we were never official). She came after me and boy did she take him fast. I think it was two weeks after we decided things wouldn't work out between us and I went off to college that I found out he was in a relationship with her. Can you say HEART BROKEN? Yeah, that one was an ouch but what can I say, she was the smart one for not letting him slip away the way I did. I am happy to be able to say though that he and I are still friends and the mystery that the future holds keeps me grounded and full of passion.

Lots of Love- Claudia

Her Standards

Now that I'm about to graduate with a BA Degree I have noticed that my standards are changing. YES, every girl should have their standards but there's always a limit. We don't want to get carried away and create a fictional man that no guy will ever live up to. I am 21 years old and eventhough all my friends seem to be getting married and having kids it's not what is strictly on my mind at this moment. I am a determined person; I want to be successful. I want my future husband to be successful too. I don't know whether my next boy friend will eventually become my husband therefore I can't take any risks...I want the men that I date to be educated. Going to college especially going away for college says a lot about the person. I want a guy that isn't only thinking about what parties they are going to on Saturday. Don't get me wrong, I love to go out on weekends with my friends and I have met so many people that are more work oriented than me but I want someone who is on the same page as me. This makes me wonder whether my standards are too high. I briefly talked about this with my best friend and she agreed that I am doing the right thing in looking for a guy that is at least about to graduate because that's where I'm at right now. Maybe she's just being biased :) Of course, there are exceptions like if this guy has started his own business without attending college. So what do you think? Am I wrong for setting these standards? Am I risking letting a good one slip away because of these standards?

With Love, Claudia G.

Are My Standards Too High?

I just read a very inspiring blog about a 17 year old who has been blessed with what we both believe to be her one true love. Their relationship is amazing. Of course that post inspired me. Not only to post a new post on my blog but to smile at the knowledge that somewhere out there is my perfectly imperfect match waiting for me. YES, like I think I have mentioned before, I LOVE being single I really do but at times I wish I had someone to share my happiness with. Here's the thing, I tend to choose my closest friends to share this happinness of mine with, and this friendship turns to what my friends have called as me being too loyal...yes, too loyal. What they mean by that is that I put my friends before me and of course that is a great quality but it seems to set me up for disaster EVERYTIME. Im tired of giving my all to people that will not always return it. You see my way of thinking is that if I put "you" before me and "you" put me before "you" then we have created a safe haven. If only all the world lived this way :) So what Im saying here is that I think* I'm ready to create this safe haven. Im tired of hurting from caring too much...I love my friends so much and I understand that it's not their job to care as much as I do when what they are doing is looking for that safe haven too. This leads me to question my standards but this post has taken a different turn ;) I'll save that for my next posting.

With love always and forever,
Taya <3 ps. maybe now is the right time to change my title....nah

My Biggest Regret...

We have, for the most part, all been through a broken heart...whether we are the ones with it or the ones who caused it. Well, a little over two years ago I was introduced to a guy who I felt was "perfect" for me. He was sweet, we hungout all summer, and talked nightly. The one thing that slowly turned me off more and more, though, was his shyness....ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? I have come to learn that 1. Most girls live in the future & 2. We are always trying to recruit husbands. Thing is, we arent perfect ourselves so why are we looking for a perfect guy? Those guys don't exist...& if a guy tells you he's perfect...RUN!! He is lying! So now that I look back I wish I wasn't so picky because all he would have needed was some time to gain a little more confidence and yes, THEN he would have been the perfect guy for me. My sister has always emphasized that regrets are useless since we can't change the past & she is right, but we can certainly work on our present in order to change our future. I can't believe that the one thing that ruined what I had with this guy was his shyness...it breaks my heart to even think about it today. We have both grown and been through our own experiences...and eventhough two years ago wasn't "our" time maybe it is now.

"The perfect man does not exist & I know that I'm not perfect...but I do know the I'm perfectly imperfect & that somewhere outthere, near or far, exists 1 or more perfectly imperfect matches for me." -Claudia G.

Half a Year Later....

I can't fathom the idea that as loyal as I was to my new up and coming blog,I without reason quit writing. Im back though & this time, I hope, for good!

Being the optimist that I am I of course can and will turn this 6 month hiatus into a positive. So here it is: within the last 6 months, I turned 21, which of course opens up an entire different "world" for me...a lot has happened in these 6 months and I will gladly share how it has and hasn't changed my views on this so called game we are all willing or unwillingly a player in. I will begin filling you in with what's been happening starting in my next post & I will be sure to include that "regret" I mentioned in my previous post :) I promise.

Get ready to enter the mess that my love life seems to represent and join me on this journey to find true love!

-Claudia

I Have Loved and Been Loved

For this post I am going to assume that I have readers and that after reading my last post "What is L O V E?" you all are wondering whether I have been in love ") I know I seem to explain it in great detail below, but I have never been IN love. As my title reads, I have loved and I have been loved but I have never been IN love before. YES there is a difference, a HUGE difference. The word IN adds the commitment and the fact that the feelings are mutual.My description as to what is love is a combination of the love i have experienced and the love I hope exists. I think timing is extremely important and sometimes we simply have to get over ourselves and give those good guys a chance! I think I can speak for all of us when I say that we have all let a good one slip from our hands and then regret it later at least once before. On the next post I will share with you my biggest regret over letting a good guy slip away.

p.s. He knows who he is <3

What is L O V E ?

A while back, my friends and I were hanging out in my room, and one of them brought up the question “what is love?” and “How do you know you’re in it?” that question brought up a lot of different views, opinions, and ideas; but it’s all very vague. So now I sit here and ask myself, “What is love?” I am taking this opportunity to explain what love is to me.

The size of our Love, first of all, depends on the individual and how much we are willing to love. If I’m always too scared, worried, or cautious then I might just miss out on love, love in friendships, and love in relationships. I believe:

Love is putting someone before you, but not seeing it as being a bad thing.
Love is doing extra, simply to put a smile on that special someone’s face (even if you’re not there to see it.)
Love is wanting the best for them.
It’s feeling sad, when they are down, yet holding in your tears and pretending to be strong.
Love is giving without expecting to receive.
Love is a risk you’re willing to take.
It’s that smile on your face with only the thought of them.
Love is sharing, it’s caring, and it’s selfless.
Love makes all your problems disappear for a while.
Love makes hard times less rough.
Love is buying them your favorite CD before you buy it for yourself.
Love is deeper than deep. Love is warm and it is bright.
Love is a feeling hard to hide. Love is a war you are willing to fight. It’s a mystery you want to preserve. It’s an emotion you put on reserve. Love is your walls on the ground and letting your hair down.
Love is compassion, understanding, and forgiveness.
Love is a friend who knows you better than you do.
Love is a trend that will never end. Love is vast yet somehow grows.
It’s a garden full of happiness with room for more.
Love is time spent as one. Its moments remembered forever and always.
It’s a language cherished and shared. A hug just because.
It’s a desire for a happily ever after.
Love is a battle we fight to win, a feeling of success deep within.
It’s dreaming during the day and keeping your faith.
It’s waiting for him day after day.
Love is an inner conflict we choose not to overcome. It’s true and its fun. Love is a lesson we take and hold deep in our hearts. Love …is love!
-Claudia

If You Want to Be Called Men...MEN-UP!!

For relationships to work, it is all about compromise. BOys, Boys, Boys! they seem to be doing it all wrong. I know not all of them are the same...(this isnt to bash you all) but i have actually met guys that feel like they are losing their manliness when they take thier gfs to watch chick-flicks...seriously? Its only a movie and eventhough you may think they are sappy, we take them very seriously (i know not all girls do). Compromise...Communicate!! Two very important C's in any type of relationship. Something like lets watch "He's Just Not That Into You," this weekend and "X-Men" next weekend :) Or chick-flick today and football tomorrow. Its not that hard! Us women dont feel like we are losing our girliness when we watch X-Men or football,so boys...or should i say men :) Stop being sooooo dramatic!! Cant live with them...Cant live without them.

p.s. Dont get me wrong i have met men (the smart ones)that offer to take their gfs to watch these chick-flicks because they understand how happy it will make them. Awwwwww good job! These are the guys that end up pleased at night ;)

I Hear Her

I hear her in tears as she pleads with him from the room next door.
I have heard it a million times before but not like this. Something deep in her voice is different. It is that of a girl coming to realization that this argument isn’t the same as all the others.This argument is leading to an end; an end which doesn’t include him.

-Claudia

"Dont hate the player..."

If I had to describe myself in a couple of words, I would tell you that I am a girls, girl. I have a deep appreciation for women…why? You may ask. I was raised by a single mother and I only have one grandparent, my grandmother “Mama.” My girlfriends are extremely important to me and I am always careful to keep them in my life while I’m in a relationship. I have witnessed many girls make their guy the center of the universe and I don’t want to be that girl. I am 20 years old, currently not in a relationship but surrounded by best friends who are. I am that single friend that always manages to be “happy” when everyone else seems to be tired, frustrated, angry, sad and every other negative emotion you can think of…how do you do it? They ask…Quite frankly…I don’t know. I do keep myself busy and spoil myself just a little. I will admit that sometimes it is a front I put up because who wants to admit they feel miserable about the fact that everyone in the world seems to be in a relationship but them?! Being a third wheel is NEVER fun, but I do it because it makes my friends happy to see her boyfriend and best friend getting along. I do it for them.  When I put myself in their shoes I know I would want the same thing. In many situations I have found that I am that person looking from the outside in..in terms of their relationship. What I am trying to get across here is that I have many best friends who come to me for advice with their boy troubles and along the way I am uncovering this truth about “the game” that these boys don’t seem to cease from playing!
p.s. is it ironic that as I type this post the song “Foolish Games” by Jewel just starting playing on my iTunes which is set on random…